Who: No One
Where: Her home
When: After the 4th of July party

Mia dropped down on her couch with a heavy sigh, doing her best to keep the tears back. The ride home was hard enough and now that she was finally home, alone, where no one could see or pick on her, she just wanted to let it all out. But she couldn't.

She wanted the tears to flow because it always made her feel better. It helped her letting it all out, the huge weight, even if just a little, got lifted off her shoulders. It was an outlet which gave her the feeling that she got rid of that burden that felt so heavy on her heart. But it didn't work this time, the tears never came. Instead it was all stuck inside her.

The why kept going around her head all the time. The ultimate question; why. Why wasn't she loveable? Why wasn't she enough? Why did she have to be alone? Why wasn't there anyone who could understand her? Why was there no one who actually gave a damn? Why did her previous relationships sink when she so wanted them to work? Why did Warrick try anything with her when he so obviously had feelings for Catherine?

And then, in that moment, Mia realized she couldn't answer those questions. Or even if she could have, it was complicated, usually depending on different points of view anyway. And she finally realized she had no other choice but accept them. Accept the fact that she was destined to be alone. Accept the fact that no matter how fast and how strong love she had for Warrick, it was never meant to be.

Acceptance. That was all that was left for her and the need to go on and move past it all. To shield her heart forever and not show affection to anyone from now on. Because she so obviously didn't deserve anyone's affection. Just a thought of her behavior in the past weeks made her wonder what became of her. That wasn't her.

She felt hurt and used but that was because she let others use her. No more feelings. No more affection. It was just too painful. She wanted none of that anymore. Nor did she want Warrick anymore. Why? Why would she want someone who obviously can't return her feelings. Why is she still bothering to stir things up around him when it wouldn't result in anything good.

That short period of time when he showered her with his affection was wonderful. She felt wanted, she felt beautiful and precious because someone was obviously interested in her enough to go through great length of planning and reservations. Knowing what she lost was what hurt her the most. She knew she reacted bad when he uttered Catherine's name but now she knew there was simply no way for it to work between them. She could have ignored it and go on like it didn't happen -- or that it didn't matter-- but she couldn't live a lie. Just this short period of time caused such suffering for her, that alone suggested that it would have been even worse if she actually had gone into a relationship with him only to find out he still cared for someone else.

The hurt was going to stay forever but now she knew what she wanted to avoid. And she would. And the first step to move past it all was to make her amends with Warrick... even if he hadn't known about it. She needed to talk to him. She needed to let it out, she needed to let him know how it hurt and that she wanted it all closed. He had to know and that was when Mia would find her peace too.

Who: No one
Where: Mia's Place
When: Getting ready for Jude's 4th of July Party

Mia stood in front of the mirror and observed herself. Make up was good. She had picked out her recently purchased top and put on her favorite black pants and put it on. She wanted to look as hot as possible. But as she was staring at herself, taking in her own appearance, it slowly drew on her.

She was never going to be enough. Despite their latest encounter, Warrick had never called. He never tried to get in touch with her and in fact he even seemed to avoid her in the lab was a confirmation of what she feared the most. She got none of his attention. She felt worthless and pathetic. She had served her purpose. Just two days ago she realized no one could substitute him for her yet that was what Warrick had done with her. She was a substitute for Catherine.

( No matter what she told Warrick... )

Who: No one
Where: Mia's apartment
When: A day after meeting with Calleigh

Mia felt depressed. No one knew, no one noticed... or they just didn't mention it to her. Although she made small mistakes - with the exception of one "almost big" one -, she managed to maintain the quality of her job as much as she could. Despite her mind being elsewhere...

Laying in bed, she wondered if it was always going to be like this. She hardly trusted anyone. Each time she lowered her walls she got hurt and that didn't help matters.

She didn't know what was so special about Warrick Brown but as her fury and anger slowly subdued, she found herself aching for him. She had kept a safe distance before, consciously avoiding him, not even giving him a chance. The realization that he was actually a good guy... the tenderness and the pleasure he gave her caught her off guard and she realized she had fallen for him. And she had fallen hard.

But his heart clearly belonged to someone else and that crucial moment when he called out Catherine's name in the middle of his climax spoke what his lips never consciously did. She didn't have a choice other than accepting it but she had gotten a taste of him and she wanted him.

She felt so miserable. She was alone, trusting people seemed even more difficult than before and everything seemed so hopeless. She found it hard to point out any positive things in her life.

She had a good job but it was becoming a daily routine, something that started to give her more stress because she tried to avoid Warrick. She lived alone, no family around and no real friends. All her relationships were superficial. She smiled, people smiled back, she had good conversations, she had people that she admired but she had no one to be truly honest with. No one to tell her problems and... heartache.

So there she was, alone in her home, ready to cry. Still, she held back because crying wouldn't help either. She felt too proud to talk to Warrick, she didn't even see much point in talking to him anyway. It hurt because she truly enjoyed herself with him. But that was taken away and she saw no chance of getting it back.

She wanted him. She wanted to touch him and feel him again, she wanted to talk to him and be treated the way he treated her, again. Instead she spent her days alone, knowing what she was missing and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. In her better moments she felt empty but those were short moments. The sadness and misery always returned and no matter how she tried to put her mind to other things, she had to admit it; she missed him terribly, even if she never really had him in the first place.

She was lonely and she couldn't see any sign of that changing any time soon.

Who: Calleigh
Where: Pepper Mill
When: Three days after her encounter with Calleigh in the lab

Mia hoped time would make things better but she was wrong. As the days passed, her fury grow and she felt worse with each passing minute. Her misery and anger were a horrible combination and it was already bordering on self pity. She couldn't keep things off her mind, no matter what she thought of made her feel even worse.

She felt lonely and useless, which did nothing but stress her out. She had no motivation to work either. She used to have her work as an escapade, to get lost in it from the troubles. But now her state of mind seemed to be affecting her work. It got so bad that she even mixed up two results, almost killing the chances of catching two killers in two separate cases.

She knew she couldn't go on like this. Sitting at her kitchen counter, she stared at her food. Her stomach wasn't doing well either. She was upset and just the mere thought of eating made her sick. She picked up her plate to throw it all out when she noticed her hands slightly shaking. She couldn't remember the last time she felt like this.

Mia knew only one thing for certain. She needed to talk to someone. Not necessarily about her problems but she desperately needed some human contact. She needed communication and distraction. Something or someone who held her interest enough to get her mind off things. Something or someone to show her that there were still some good things left in this world.

Then she remembered... Calleigh had been up to some chit chat. She didn't want to use her, she didn't want to take advantage of Calleigh, calling her up only to mean distraction. No. She seemed nice with a great amount of attitude and cheery atmosphere around her. She was intrigued by her because she loved people who had a positive attitude. It always gave her some strength.

Hoping that she'd be available and not still asleep at 1 PM in the afternoon, she gathered some of her belongings and reached for her cell. Within minutes she was in her car, giving her a call. She left her a message, telling her she'd be at Pepper Mill. She didn't know how much of Vegas Calleigh knew so she gave her some instructions how to get there. She doubted she would have a problem getting there, it was right next to the place where Warrick held her party.

Mia was aware that Calleigh may not come. Her call was sudden, after all. Even if the blonde didn't show, Mia decided to get a few drinks on her own.

Who: No one
Where: Mia's place
When: A couple of days after her date with Warrick

The last couple of days have been hard on Mia. It took her a very long time to let herself open up again and when she did, she had to pay the price for it. She knew from the very first moment that there was something wrong with Warrick. It was like an instinct, her senses telling her to keep away. The reason why she acted the way she did around him.

But... it was not what she had first thought. The "problem" with Warrick was entirely different than what her instincts had told her. He wasn't a player, no. He wasn't a jerk, he wasn't an ass. He wasn't even the cheating type. The problem was... he was the good guy, the complete opposite of her fears. And he couldn't be hers. She got a glimpse of him, the real Warrick Brown and she could have none of it.

But a part of her was furious because in a way, he did use her. He had her. He got her laid, they had a one night stand. She felt angry because he was a great guy but was foolish enough to work his way through her, despite having feelings for another woman. He called out someone else's name in the middle of his orgasm, putting her in the most humiliating situation she's ever been in.

Mia felt incredibly alone. She felt that she wasn't enough. She's had enough guys taking advantage of her, that's why she had decided to play hard-to-get. And BE hard-to-get. And when she made sure she kept her cool, letting her desires take control only when she felt safe, she had to be disappointed and wounded yet again.

She hated and wanted Warrick at the same time. She truly liked him, both physically and mentally but she also couldn't stand to think of him. She felt angry, sad and heartbroken at the same time. She wanted to cry in her misery.

She started to think love was not meant for her.

Her alarm clock reminded her it was time to go to work. She could only hope that she was going to be able to hide the emotional storm she felt inside. And that she could avoid Warrick as much as possible.

I'm Mia Dickerson and I work as a DNA Technician at the Las Vegas Crime Lab.

I love my job, science fascinates me. So do intriguing people, hence why I usually manage to maintain a good relationship with people. I don't take crap from anyone but I respect others' authority. I have no problem admitting if I'm wrong but that mostly pertains to my everday life. I'm confident and very thorough when it comes to my job.

As for the personal life; I'm currently single and although I'm satisfied with my life right now, I'm open to meet someone new. I don't like those guys who talk big but don't do the half of it. I prefer real men who respect and treat me equally. One very important rule if anyone asks me out; I never eat out.